My dad and I were in a hotel and he tried the coffee and smiled and said “ahh, it’s like making love in a canoe.” and I said, “it’s that good?” and he stopped smiling and looked me in the eye and said, “no, it’s fucking close to water" before pouring it down the drain really dramatically and walking away.
Oh my GOD.
Extreme dad jokes.
I couldn’t remember how I had arrived at that dark place. The last thing I recalled was going to a student’s house, a nubile young thing whose beauty stoked the fires of my aging passion.
"How did I get here?" I said quietly, distantly to myself. This dank cave was no place for an esteemed professor of English literature, the most glorious and noble of all the Earth’s tongues.
There was a pool of water, and I washed my face in it. Staring at my reflection, I noticed a cast to my eyes, as if some great thing were floating upon their surface like a person could float upon the Dead Sea.
Suddenly, there she was. My student. The soft, ivory tone of her flesh still stirred something within me.
"You are here," she said cryptically. Something was wrong. Her… curves were in all the wrong places. There, in the darkness, it was as if the contours of her youthful body did not conform to the Euclidean laws of the universe, bending and twisting in ways out of the corners of my eyes. Her head tilted to the side and that mouth opened, revealing teeth and eyes far within…
She wasn’t like other girls, I thought, screaming.
ok but this is marvelous
Reblogging again because that was fucking beautiful
In a bold hypothesis proposed by Adam Wilkins from the Humboldt University of Berlin and co-authors Richard Wrangham of Harvard University and Tecumseh Fitch of the University of Vienna, domesticated animals’ cuteness is a disadvantage. It all has to do with a group of embryonic stem cells called the neural crest. This is the reason why breeding for tameness causes changes in such diverse traits.Our pets are definitely tamer, have floppier ears, softer jawlines and more “naive” faces than their wild relatives.…The aforementioned physical signs of tameness are also affected by the neural crest. For instance flappy ears on a dog are far from being beneficial. They are actually the result of a malformed ear cartilage.
“When humans bred these animals for tameness, they may have inadvertently selected those with mild neural crest deficits, resulting in smaller or slow-maturing adrenal glands,” Wilkins says. “So, these animals were less fearful.”